A Lighthouse Love Story: August 29, 2006

And now the post you've all been waiting for...

I imagine it won't exactly come as a huge surprise, but Craig and I decided in a more official way to get married/get engaged on August 29th. We've both talked about it for years now and I spent the past 2-3 years slowly trying to work it all out a bit more, especially the whole proposal bit. We've discussed some hows and wheres etc. of an actual wedding but somehow always side-stepped the actual asking and exposing and commiting. I had been ready to make this commitment from some time ago, and for a while I sensed Craig wasn't quite ready and thus I didn't want to do the asking and exert strange pressures on the relationship which had always been very organic and natural and slow. But then again, I didn't like being so traditional by having him propose or sort of waiting in limbo. So I just tried to leave it open and thought I would do it if the time and place seemed right.

There were lots of amazing and romantic places and situations allong our travels but not enough time to consider and plan things more slowly. But, when we arrived here in Southerness, Scotland, I had an instant flash of an idea to propose to Craig up in the lighthouse here. The lighthouse is actually owned by Craig's family. It's the oldest one in Scotland and very cool. (You can kind of see it here: http://www.lighthouseleisure.co.uk/)

So, the 29th was the 11 year anniversary of the day we met, and I organized a surprise dinner up in the lighthouse. The anniversary bit was really just a cover for doing the proposal part. Lots of secret work went into it, I got someone to ask Craig to do some work at the arcade/craft shop so I could get away and plan and cook, had another friend do the shopping for me, get the key and help decorate the place. Somehow, it miraculously managed to stay a surprise (to Craig anyway)the whole time.

I sent Craig off on a sort of riddle treasure hunt while we lugged all the food, the table and dishes, candles, flowers and gas burners to keep things warm etc. up all 66 steep steps. The treasure hunt eventually had Craig arriving at the lighthouse with the key in his hand at about sunset. He unlocked the door and climbed all of those stairs in the candlelight. The whole buildup was really cool, I was so into the surprise of it. So, we had a good laugh and had dinner up the top, with a wonderful view overlooking the sea and a really neat space to have all to ourselves.

I had prepared a Robertson crest kilt pin instead of a ring as the engagement token but hadn't set anything about the whole asking, just thought I'd feel it out and save some spontanaeity there. As I was getting ready to propose however, Craig beat me to it and asked me first. It was quite funny. Craig had had a similiar idea when we were still back in Japan to propose in the lighthouse but hadn't pursued it yet. I was all prepared and had put weeks into the planning of it so I don't think I was as surprised in some ways, though usually it's the person asked, not the asker, who is surprised. But I was surprised by the ironic outcome, we had back-to-back proposals, a sort of joint engagement.

It was really lovely, and ended up being quite true to the organic, natural and fair nature of our relationship.

The next couple of days, as we spread the word a bit, we realised that just about everyone in Southerness already knew. It is a pretty small town and we had become their soa opera. One person watched from their window as Craig strolled towards the lighthouse with the last clue in his hand. Craig's uncle James said he saw the flickering of the candles up in the lighthouse at about midnight. Even a neighbor down the road who we hadn't met knew about it.

We'll start to think more about the details of a wedding and celebration over the next few months. It's likely to happen in Pennsylvania due to my family being much more rooted, and likely to happen in autumn (Northern Hemisphere Autumn), maybe 2007, possibly 2008.